Theoisms

I was looking through some of my old books and I found a piece of paper slipped into one of them. You can imagine my sheer joy and delight when I realized that it was a long ago written list of Theoisms. So for your enjoyment, here they are.

"I don't like me."

"My dirty hamster" (the clothes hamper)

"I'm skitchy" which leads to mosquitoes being "Skitchy bugs"
Speaking of bugs there are "pincher bugs" and "stranger bugs"

"She's my Brudder."

"Crisbee." (also known as a Frisbee)

"You're gonna get thundered!" (Said to Sam as she played her harmonica on the porch during a thunder storm)

"She gonna get toasted!" (said when Joanna and I asked him to repeat what was going to happen to Sam in the thunder storm)

"Death is very serious."

"Don't look a cop in the eye unless you're dead." (I'll keep that one in mind)

"Don't make eye contact with a dog"

"I don't want to be in the army because I don't want to die in public."

"When you make eye contact with an animal they think you're gonna hurt them."

"Calm down my sistas!"

"I'm just choking" (a.k.a joking)

and

"You have to be 50 feet down in the dirt." (....to suffocate).

If you have any to add please feel free to do so!